As a massive fan of all things with a motor, though I’ll draw the line at Monster trucks (that line probably being Alabama, Louisiana or somewhere else in the backwaters of the Deep South),  I consider myself fortunate to be living in Marbella.

I’ve had the opportunity to road test luxury cars for glossy Marbella magazines – the Spanish launch of the Bentley GTC in Barcelona being particularly memorable – and you’ll always spot exotic machinery cruising through Banus. Last year I counted more Lamborghinis than Minis in the Port on one August night.

But the one thing that riles me is when owners customise or bling out their motors. I’m not talking upgrading the interior with a few subtle adjustments. I’m talking the kind of paint jobs that make the million dollar motor look like a Quality Street wrapper or worse. Strangely enough normally sporting a Middle Eastern number plate.

All these pale into comparison compared to the paint job pictured. I’m not sure if the Russian owner thinks it makes her “Mother of Porsches”, but it’s the most crass paint job I’ve ever seen on a 911, a make of car that my father famously once referred to as ‘little point and squirt machines’ (he was lumbering around Thruxton in the wet in a Ferrari Daytona at the time).

This poor 911 is all the proof you will ever need that Satan does indeed walk the Earth. And drives a Porsche. And if the dragon is supposed to represent fearsome power, could someone tell the owner that the engine is in the back? Or does the dragon symbolise her fiery hand luggage???