During the post Christmas pre New Year lull I decided to take in a movie at my local cinema.

My choices for a no brains blockbuster over the festive season where the new Stars Wars film Rogue One, Assasins Creed (a bloody awful film, based on a video game. I’m eagerly awaiting Sonic The Hedgehog:The Movie in that case) and the new JK Rowling Film, Fabulous Beasts and Where to Find them.

And it was whilst trying to key in the later that I unwittingly found myself in a world of trouble I unwittingly slipped in a rogue R, resulting in Fabulous Breasts and Where to Find them. My poor long suffering laptop went into meltdown as a series of, ahem “Racey” images flooded the screen.

Not only that, but pop up adverts have started appearing on my screen. Honestly, I had no idea that there where so many half dressed housewives within five kilometres dying to meet me. They must be on the far side of the lake, probably close to where the ibex come to graze.

I may have to paddle over in the kayak later and investigate further…